Someone close to you gambles too much: how can you help?

Signs to watch for

You can bring it up without a diagnosis. These signs are enough to be worried:

• Their spending puts the household budget under strain.
• They gamble again to try to win back what they lost.
• They lie about or hide what they spend on gambling.
• Money and time spent gambling cause arguments, or they withdraw from others.
• They keep gambling despite the problems it causes.

5 steps to help someone close to you

1. 1

   Pick the right moment

   Choose a calm moment. Avoid bringing it up during an argument, right after a loss or while they are gambling.

2. 2

   Talk about facts and leave blame aside

   Describe one specific thing, without blaming them. Say how you feel, then ask how they see it. You can start from the message below. It can take more than one conversation: you can come back to it later.

3. 3

   Protect your money

   Refuse to pay off their gambling debts or to lend them money, even if they promise it is the last time. Protect your own cards and accounts, and check no loan has been taken out in your name. If you feel threatened or unsafe, call the emergency services.

4. 4

   Offer practical help

   Suggest they call a helpline, free and anonymous in many countries. Specialist treatment exists too, and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the main options.1 Self-exclusion is a decision they have to make themselves, but you can show them their country's register.

   Their country's register and helplineThe 10-step guide, to share
5. 5

   Look after yourself

   You deserve support too. You can call a helpline for yourself. Some services support family and friends directly. In England, for example, the NHS National Problem Gambling Clinic has a family and friends service.1 If it is your child who is gambling, follow the steps for parents instead.

   My child gambled at an online casino

Message to start the conversation

Adapt the text in [square brackets]. You can send it, or use it to plan what you will say.

[Name], I care about you and I am worried.

I have noticed that [one specific thing, for example: our account has been overdrawn for 2 months].

I am here to listen. I want to understand what you are going through.

If you are up for it, we can look for help together. There are free, anonymous helplines.

For my part, I need to protect [our budget / my money] too. So I am going to stop [lending you money / paying gambling debts].

In a different situation?